Sour Lemons

Well I dont know how to express how I feel... We know that feeling that we have when life makes things we dont understand why and life takes away people who we dont think ain't ready to go? Well I have been through that before of course, the lost of my grandpa last hear made me into tears for weeks and weeks... but when we all look at it... we never wanted it to happen, it was never their time.We ask ourselfs a lot of question, we even ask our meaning to life, we question every law of phisics, we would believe in anything if things were properly explained... sometimes we even... would take their place.

A friend of mine died, last night. Hit by a car, while he had a flat tire... It's told that , I don't really now for sure, he went off to fix it, don't know if it was in the middle of the street or actually in the side, but that's not what I wanted to know, the questions on my mind are just why and why? He was only 18, only yesterday he started his life... Why should he deserve such petty fate? Men how I wish we had just one more time, that feeling that there was a lot to say just haunts me down, the knowledge that we didn't gave our best when we could have given makes me feel worthless. We all know he wasn't my closest friend, but still he makes me feel like something was taken for me, because it was something part of my life, something that will never, ever be the same...

This kind of situations make me think, a lot actually about the importance of this life we into, now letting me travel a bit through space and time, peoples life are just worthless. People die everywhere, every day, sometimes for reasons we dont understand... What i mean with this is that, our life is actually worth nothing. I know we hard for this life and we try and make it bigger by having a better future, but why? If we just make our rotine and risk all the work we do when just a glass of water who can ruin it. We work for the future they say, but what if there is no future? why am I limiting myself to a future when there is no guarantee that it will happen, what am I doing to my present if there is nothing that can guarantee that i will wake up tomorrow. I just wanted to let you guys here with this message, not about him, i know it's a great loss and I will live it like all other who have left me, it's a big loss, but about the fact that I feel we are not living the present as we should of, we are leaving people with words unspoken, things undone. I think, we are living this world without the joy of being together and experiencing this life at it's fullest. Rest in peace my friend, I will make sure that you will allways be remembered and your way of being will allways remain in my heart...

~Anthony