Sweet Lemons

Sometimes I think we think too much, we live our life's worried about what will happen or about what is happening right now that we don't see. As I sayd in one of my reflections, we ain't living life at its fullest, we live it worried we miss wonderful things just because we don't open our eyes.

I met this girl in my birthday, she is damn too special for me, don't think she is like the one and such things, as I sayd, just don't think about it. She is special in the way that we are nothing to each other, just friends, but she is a lot to me. We don't date or neither we never kissed, but for me it feels like I kissed every day in her good morning, it looks like we hold hands for each time she talked to me. She is damn too special, she makes me feel alive, she makes me feel happy, she makes me everything for real.

The thing is, of you look from the outside, she doesn't give me anything more, she just gives me whatever she can or feels and since we are just friends thats what she gives me, friendship, but for me, it's so much, I kind of feel loved, fighting for her, making her feel good is such a joy, such a wonderful feeling, the kind of feeling I wanna thank her for, she is "the special girl" in my life and I don't think I am letting her go... Thank a lot for what you make me feel C, it's the best I could get from anyone. What I want you to see is that sometimes, the small gestures can be of such greatness you can make somebody's day just by saying... I want you...

~Anthony

L(ov)emons

So have been a few days that I don't post on this blog and I want to apologize for my lack of effort. Today I wanna talk about something that made me think a lot in the last couple of days, I don't know where my life is heading and so does nobody knows, but one things is for sure and that is the theme of today, people of my age and lower ages seem to be afraid of the word commitement.

Of course we have all been through girlfriends and boyfriends and for some people nowadays, they don't really think they are getting compromised, love is just something so common people feel like everyday right like why should I be compromised to somebody just because I love him? It's not like we are gonna be together forever... Wrong, I at least think is wrong... Makes me sad how people say I love you nowadays... The word, even the feeling has been so reduced by our fellows youngsters... It actually makes it like I could say to any of you reading just by the fact to know you I could love you...

I don't understand how easy it is to love, I have had 4 girlfriends by now and have sayd I loved only 2... I am sorry for the other 2 but it wasn't love... And one things for sure... Faking feelings ain't for me... If I feel it, be sure that you will know it... Sorry if I don't tell it to you, its just because... I don't feel it. But turning back again to the society, I miss the times love was something valuable, relationships were lifes and couples were families... Those times, need to come back, we don't know the meaning of love just because, we use it incorrectly, we use it for everything... We kill the feeling in the word...

Just a quick note, sorry for the formatting of this weeks posts but I am in vacations and I will be posting to mobile, at least for the next week. I will as soon as possible edit this to suit up the model of the blog.

~Anthony

Past Lemons

Today I decided to talk to you a bit more about myself, since this is kind of an unknown blog and it's through the posts that you will get to know me better I will lead to a bit of my personality. I am not gonna go directly at the points of interest, I am gonna talk about a theme that probably it's part of our lifes, not probably, for sure it's our lifes. People live countless years and there is one thing that makes us grow and lead us to what we are today, and that thing is our past, the thing that shapes us as a person and changes as an individual.

Of course we all have past, we all have experiences, good, bad, but what we do have for sure is things that ,as I sayd before, mold us to what we are currently. We learn , we are intellectual beings who learn from past experiences, not only the bad ones, we learn from everything, we even learn from others experiences. We grow and all of that because we live, image if a person lived in a box we nothing to do, she would just stay the same, not changing a bit due to the fact that she had no situations to make her diference the right or wrong and make her change the way she lives. That's what makes us racional, the capability of diferencing the right from the wrong and more, the fact that we get shaped by those experiences.

But even though those experiences make part of our lives, there is something we should know, and it's the fact that nobody is equal and even if something went wrong in the past with the X person, it doesn't mean that the Y person ,just because it's equal to X or does something X used to do, it's gonna be the same situation, because there can be a lot of people who look a like, but none are actually equal, we are all diferente in the fact that none of us had the same experiences and the same lessons and the same life. And that's where I wanted to come, it makes me sad that some people are afraid of the present due to the fact that they had a past, I know we fear what we cannot see, in this case the future and obviously if we get a glimpse of our past we expect the future to be trying to trick us, but i thinks it's still a mistake, we have to live our life like it's the first time,of course with new safetys and being sure that what we passed trough can happen again, but never quitting something, just because it's a look a like. In portuguese we have a saying and that's what I want you to retrieve from this post and the saying is appearances decieve

~Anthony

Sour Lemons

Well I dont know how to express how I feel... We know that feeling that we have when life makes things we dont understand why and life takes away people who we dont think ain't ready to go? Well I have been through that before of course, the lost of my grandpa last hear made me into tears for weeks and weeks... but when we all look at it... we never wanted it to happen, it was never their time.We ask ourselfs a lot of question, we even ask our meaning to life, we question every law of phisics, we would believe in anything if things were properly explained... sometimes we even... would take their place.

A friend of mine died, last night. Hit by a car, while he had a flat tire... It's told that , I don't really now for sure, he went off to fix it, don't know if it was in the middle of the street or actually in the side, but that's not what I wanted to know, the questions on my mind are just why and why? He was only 18, only yesterday he started his life... Why should he deserve such petty fate? Men how I wish we had just one more time, that feeling that there was a lot to say just haunts me down, the knowledge that we didn't gave our best when we could have given makes me feel worthless. We all know he wasn't my closest friend, but still he makes me feel like something was taken for me, because it was something part of my life, something that will never, ever be the same...

This kind of situations make me think, a lot actually about the importance of this life we into, now letting me travel a bit through space and time, peoples life are just worthless. People die everywhere, every day, sometimes for reasons we dont understand... What i mean with this is that, our life is actually worth nothing. I know we hard for this life and we try and make it bigger by having a better future, but why? If we just make our rotine and risk all the work we do when just a glass of water who can ruin it. We work for the future they say, but what if there is no future? why am I limiting myself to a future when there is no guarantee that it will happen, what am I doing to my present if there is nothing that can guarantee that i will wake up tomorrow. I just wanted to let you guys here with this message, not about him, i know it's a great loss and I will live it like all other who have left me, it's a big loss, but about the fact that I feel we are not living the present as we should of, we are leaving people with words unspoken, things undone. I think, we are living this world without the joy of being together and experiencing this life at it's fullest. Rest in peace my friend, I will make sure that you will allways be remembered and your way of being will allways remain in my heart...

~Anthony

And So It Begins

So this is how it begins, my name is Anthony, I am 21 years old and I am from Portugal. Not gonna tell more about me as you will soon discover by the themes we will talk through the time we will spend together. I am not a native english speeker but i will write in english just because i want everybody to have acess to this blog and to know what I am talking about. As for my fellow friends in Portugal, I am sorry, there no such thing i love the most as the portuguese language but as i sayd, this is for the best of the community.

About this blog, I don't know much to say about it, just the fact that I will try to express myself about some themes and try to interact as much as I can with the readers and all of the people that wants to take part of this project. So if you wanna be part, just comment, express your will and make your voice heard, we can have a good time if we share emotions and thoughts.

I will try to post a message every day since this is suposed to be a kind of diary for me, expect the worse and the best when you come read something here, since I either be up or down in my life, and i believe that's what you do, when life gives you lemons...

~Anthony